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The best stories are usually the true ones. The
following story is not only true but it is also
revealing and remarkable. Please fasten your
seatbelts, sit back and patiently read it. You
never know, you may learn something from it. I
certainly did. Here we go.
Someone asked me the other day where I got
the inspiration to write my poem titled “The
Power of a Woman”. I told him that it came from
the Spirit of God and that I also drew on so many
experiences that I had had with women over the
last 53 years of my life and the experiences of
many of my male friends too. All in all the poem,
in my view, far from being an attack on
womanhood was in fact very charitable to them
and confirmed the view, held by many, that they
are extremely complex beings that need to be
treated with tender love and care at all times.
Funnily enough most of my closest friends today
are women: this is because I find them to be far
more loyal and generally speaking much deeper,
more far-sighted, more sensitive and more
discerning than men. But let me share
something here that happened to me just a few
years ago when I was still in government and
which shocked me beyond belief. It also made
me extremely wary of members of the opposite
sex. A good friend of mine who was, and still is a
leading and well known politician, was put in
detention during President Obasanjo’s
administration. He was facing some very serious
criminal charges (he has long since been cleared
and acquitted by the courts) and he was
detained in prison for many months. I was
reasonably close to him at the time and I used to
speak with him regularly when he was there and
I did all I could to help him with his case. I also
used to visit his family regularly to encourage
them and do whatever I could for them.
He and his wife were very close and I always saw
her as a dutiful and loyal wife. She seemed to be
totally devoted to this man. Then came the
shocker: one day when I went there I noticed
that she seemed a little more restless and
agitated than usual. She offered me a generous
shot of vintage ”Remy Martin” brandy and I
reminded her that I don’t drink hard liqour. I
noticed that she was getting a little too familiar
with me and she wore a flimsy gown that night. I
was getting very uncomfortable and hot under
the collar and told her that I had to leave. She
then told me that she had prepared dinner and
that she cooked it herself just for me and that
she had told all the househelp to retire early and
the children were all away at boarding school- in
short, she told me that we were completely alone
in the house. At this point I protested strongly
and told her that I had to leave right away. She
then told me that she had something to tell me
and something to give me. I asked her to go
ahead: she told me that I should stop worrying
about her husband and that after all how do I
know that he didn’t commit the said crime? She
told me that he is a very ”harsh and wicked
man” and that the only reason that she was still
with him was because of the children and
because he had plenty of money and power.
She then broke down and wept and said that she
was so unhappy in the marriage and that the
only way she could be free was for him to die or
to be jailed. She said that she did not want him
to ever come out of detention and that that was
her secret prayer. At this point there were goose
pimples all over my body and a very deep fear
gripped me. I sensed that I was in mortal danger
and I started praying under my breath. I told her
that I did not want to hear such things and that I
was leaving. She then got up and ran to the
front door and locked it from within. She told me
that I could not go until she had given me the
gift she had promised me and that she would
now go upstairs to fetch it for me. At this point I
had come to the conclusion that this lady was
mentally unstable and I actually feared for my
life. Was it a gun she wanted to bring or was the
food drugged or poisoned? All sorts of things
were racing through my mind. She then went
upstairs and came back five minutes later and
you know what? She was completely naked! She
told me that this was the gift she had for me: her
body. She told me that she had loved me from
the first day she saw me and that she was ready
to do anything for me there and then. I was
shocked beyond belief.
I then picked up my
cell phone and sent
an SOS text to my
chief security officer
who, together with
his team, were in the
compound by the
cars. Immediately
they cordoned off the
house, brought out
their weapons, rushed
to the front door and
started demanding to
see me. They actually
thought that perhaps
I had been poisoned
or shot or something.
It was at that point
that the lady
relented, unlocked
the door and I was
saved. I left the place
safely. What shocked
me the most was that
when the man was
released I went to see
them and this lady
was once again
playing the role of the
devoted and dutiful
wife. She was doting
on him and showering
him with love and
praises, which is, of
course, how it should
be. She even insisted
on leading the
prayers thanking God
over and over again
for his release from
detention and final
acquittal. I was happy
for my friend but at
the same time
unhappy for him. I was happy because he had
been released but I was unhappy because he
had no idea about the type of wife he had.
I learnt something that day: I learnt that when
the bible says that “the heart of man is
desperately wicked, who can know it?” that it is
true. I also learnt that when William Shakespeare
wrote that “there is no art that can see the
minds construction in the face” that he was
right. And this goes both ways: men can be as
deceptive as women and more often than not
they are. It is just that men are not nearly as
good at it and more often than not they are very
obvious. You see it was not the suggestion of
infidelity that shocked me the most (because
that is common enough) but rather the deep-
seated hatred that this woman secretly had for
her husband. That is what I found frightful. And
as bad as that was, I am sure that he must have
brought that beast out in her by not treating her
well over the years. So perhaps it is not entirely
her fault. I cannot judge her or either of them (in
any case who am I to judge anyone) but the
morale of the tale is surely this: we must treat
our wives and our partners very well indeed and
then we can leave the rest to God.
We must give them a new reason to love us
anew every day. We must light up their fire,
touch their souls and lift up their senses. We
must treat them as if they were princesses and
queens so that they will love us forever and not
run to another or secretly wish us dead. We must
ensure that the beast does not rise up in them
by giving them all that they could possibly want,
whether it be emotionally, spiritually, physically
or financially. My friend is still with his wife and
they appear to be very happy too. I am happy for
them and particularly for his blissful ignorance
concerning his wife’s inner-most thoughts. Well
maybe she has changed her mind about him
now and maybe she truly loves him again. I really
wouldn’t know and that is none of my business.
I have never spoken about that incident with
that lady and I never will. Whenever we see each
other we just smile and say hello: she knows that
her secret is safe with me but I do pray for both
her and her husband. I pray for their marriage
because we are all vulnerable from time to time
and we all have our moments of weakness. And
neither will I ever tell anyone the names of this
interesting couple. My lips are sealed forever on
that and neither is it relevant. May God help us
all, particularly we men, for we have no idea
about just how deep, powerful and complex
women can be. That is the power of a woman!
And it is partly that shocking experience that led
me to write that highly celebrated and
controversial poem. For those that are interested
in reading it and learning more about the fairer
sex just google the title or look it up in the poems
column of my website- www.femifanikayode.org.
You never know- you may learn something new. I
certainly did. Shalom.
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